The 1918 Shikoku Pilgrimage of Takamure Itsue by Itsue Takamure

Author:Itsue Takamure [Takamure, Itsue]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Bowen Publishing
Published: 2012-02-27T16:00:00+00:00

Article 72: LEFT ALONE

This morning there was an unexpected incident. That is to say I am writing this, alone, surrounded by people I do not know.

If that’s all I write, you probably won’t understand. It was completely dreamlike, a dreamlike happening; I have been left behind by the old man. The old man has gone away. Here I am at the home of Kimoto Tokuzō in Toyota, Aratano Town,363 Naka County, in the province of Awa.

I wonder what my destiny will be. Truly it is a fluctuating destiny.

Why was I left? I don’t know. I only know that the old man got angry and left.

Why did he get angry? This, I don’t know. Last evening, with the intention of making the old man feel better, I talked just a little about traveling alone. He is pretty robust for the age of seventy-three. In addition, because he is already used to Shikoku and has done a lot of ascetic practice, if he goes on by himself, he can travel smoothly with no hardship. My being with him is a terribly heavy burden. I have always been concerned about that. In addition, wherever we go, people ask if he’s my grandfather or my personal servant and so on, and that makes me uneasy every time. But such matters are of no consequence and the virtuous old man’s getting angry was a mystery. I wondered why. I was stunned and could not say anything. And then, in the end, the old man went away.

Surprised, I gazed at his departing figure for a long time, tears streaming down my face. Perhaps they were tears not of apprehension at being left alone, but rather because of the unhappiness of the old man who had misunderstood and left in anger, and also because of the feelings of regret that were greatly affecting my heart and mind. I had intended to finish this sorrow-filled, meandering pilgrimage alone after we had had parted, tenderly, sadly, and beautifully, at Muya. But I must try to reflect deeply. How were my truthfulness and sincerity towards the old man? Let me think. I feel beautifully, deeply and eternally grateful to the utmost degree.

Now I am completely taken aback. However, I will never forget that I am existing together with Heaven. I will go! Bravely and happily.

Ah, fall has come. The air has already become crystal clear. The wind continues to blow. The insects are chirping. My heart dances! My heart dances! Oh, this intense, mad, embracing—even breathless—love of nature. I am nature’s unique belovèd child. I will go! Without a plan. From the beginning my friends have been my pilgrim staff and pilgrim hat, those very things.

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